Manifestations

I wish that I could call everything what it is 

and say how everything should be but the truth of the matter is that I am a product of manifestations of mistakes, unfulfilled dreams and God's Grace.

I never knew that the anger and violence that I woke up to 

would slowly become me, although thats not what I wanted to be.

And no Im not placing blame 

Im just acknowledging those not so safe choices we've all made

but it was His Grace.

And those dreams you didnt fulfill

Dont worry momma I got you

Im not upset, Im just grateful for how much you've pushed me to excel

and to dream and to excel and to dream and dream

It could be irony 

but I say its destiny

and for once it seems as though our souls are crying out for the very same...love.

His unfailing Love.

...

Suffocation and Liberation

I know what its like to be suffocated

Because right now as I speak---

I cant breathe

I am gasping for air and sometimes ...

He lets up on his grip to let me a see a while

To see what I'm missing 

all the blessings that could be mine

and I beg and plead with him to let go

I cant breathe. Gasping for air I scream

But no one hears. I moan but no one responds

writhing pains run throughout my body

and although I blink and hope for a dream,

I open my eyes and there is still darkness.

Tears stream down my face

my head is pulsating

this strait jacket is impossible to escape

I pull and prod until im all outta

*Strength*

God where are you?

Yet in the midst of my suffering I desperately seek comfort and your holy spirit leads me to Romans

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."

A whisper in my ear repeats, 

LIBERATION, LIBERATION

"For the creation was subjected to frustration not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it. In hope that the creation itself will be LIBERATED from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God."

Tears stream down my face

My head is pulsating

This strait jacket is loosening up.

I lift my head and my arms drop to my side

and although I can only but whisper

Hallelujah...Hallelujah

I can breathe again

Bank of (Wh0se) America?

Stay Tuned for more about Bank of America and how maybe Im not apart of the Family                                                                                        

Luster

Why aren't I beautiful?

Why don't you for one minute

 think that maybe I would be the Girl of your Dreams 

even if I am a size 16?

and if you are so hard and such a man and...so hard

y do you internalize the image of the women that society tells you to?

y do you overlook me because my legs are thick my shoulders are wide and my skin is caramel.

But you'd like this caramel if only you could taste it

and I know you'd want to

but you cant because I belong to somebody.

My Father. and yes we're in love 

and damn right. Im fly. Cuz I was made in his image.

Breast MIDSECTION and all.

If only once you looked into my eyes

and not my size

you could finally come to internalize

that I am beautiful.

and you've.

lost out.