Guilt

There is this feeling that wont go away
And its deep inside of me
Reflection of the past yields
Regrets in the present

There is this feeling that wont go away
And its deep inside of me

I never meant to hurt you,
Even when I did
It was my selfish nature
And my pompous pride
CreatinG that sorrow on your face
And its far too late to erase
But thank you.
Thank You for loving me anyway

There is this feeling that wont go away
And its deep inside of me.

My insecurities took over
I wanted you to love me
But so it seeMs that no amount of tussling can make someone love
And once you did it was too late
A compromise turned into a scar, unhealed
No bandage for this wound

There is this feeling that wont go away
And its deep inside of me.

When will I know that you care?
Why cant I show you I do?
I am of you
A life alMost surrendered
Selflessness defined
Selfishness refined
Lets let love take its course
It'll all mean nothing
If I dont say something
Before it all goes away

There is this deep feeling
Inside of me
Go Away

Where Do Dreams Go?

I search for the manifestations of my deep desires

Within the shallow, emptiness of another’s heart

Wherein we both reside in dark void.

I hope with enthusiasm that somehow you have arrived

So that you may render me a ticket to the “peace station”

Which my spirit woman knows, you and I both have not found

I close my eyes and conjure up the image of who I want to be

Still just a tad bit unwilling to stir the latent motivation that lies within me

Thereby motivation escapes into the warped world between the concavity of the mirror and

the space in which I stand.

Where do dreams go?

Do they somehow vanish into particles of unbelief and strife?

Swept away into the nearby water?

A petite dam in between the cracks of the sidewalks the next young girl will walk on?

Deferred are dreams to those whose vision is obstructed by the veil

I long to hear THE loved ones permission to resume.

From where has this light arrived?

Is this the son light?

How full is man’s heart.

Beneath the veil, beyond the void.

Broken

I am Broken
What you see is a put together outside
Covering a shattered inside
And it is on the inside that you feel love
But love escapes me

I am Broken
Like a series of promises you made me
I had hoped you would keep the one where you said
"You'd love me no matter what"
But that was a matter of circumstance

I am Broken
The hardest thing for me to do is embrace you
But I want to
I'll stand by you or beside you
Whatever makes you feel whole

I am Broken
I sit still here
Helpless
With the urge to build
With no tools
And the hope to love
With no heartbeat

I am Broken
Where is this Master?
Does He live within?
I call on Him
Will He come in?
And mold me into someone to me?
Will he take the time to gather all of broken me?

I Have Learned

I Have Learned that I gained so much when I allowed you to love me. I was resistant before

I Have Learned that your presence consumes me in a way that leaves me speechless

I am in awe of you

I Have Learned that I should not fear. I have no reason to be afraid. I am armed with your favor

I Have Learned that all that ever mattered in this world was you. I missed out on living

I Have Learned that I am beautiful and powerful beyond the world's standards. I am beautiful

and powerful in the heavenly realm

I Have Learned that I give myself away so that you will transform me into a life to be given to others

I Have Learned that trouble don't last always and that victory is in my perception. I am a victor

today, tomorrow and yesterday

I Have Learned that these lessons means sitting in a classroom with no desk, no classmates

and no pen. You God are my professor. You write the next chapters

I Have Learned that where you lead me. I will follow

Take Time

Take time to fall in love with yourself

that aint cliche

Take time to love every freckle and love handle on your body.

Take to time to praise Him

and then take some more time to praise YOU.

You have earned the right to smear red puckered lips all over your soul.

Take time to answer those questions you've always had and take time to rub your hands all over your BODY.

Take time to look back at all your mistakes

And then take time to rebuke every thing and every thought that would want you to feel guilty about those mistakes.

Take time to sit for five minutes with your eyes closed and dream,

Take time to cease that dream and make it your life.

Take time to love him and take time to resist any urge you may have to stop communication.

Take time to see yourself LOVED and BLESSED and LAVISHED by the man God has sent you.

Take time to scream and let the world know that you are here.

Take some more time to let them know that you don't care if they know.

Take time to laugh and cry

to pray and doubt

to assume faith and then grow.

Take time to fall in love with everything your mom and dad told you not to become.

Take time to love God whole heartedly and completely.

Take 

time 

to 

Take

Time.

Scholars

Love is not math.

Love is science.

Love is one big science experiment with no hypothesis...

And I'm not gonna entertain the consequences that may come along if we mix chemicals together.

Because I want all of you inside of me.

You might be thinkin' sexually. 

But baby im thinkin spiritually.

that's when I feel like we're meant to be.

and Im not even about all this rhymin' sh*t.

Love is not science.

Love is math.

Because YOU plus ME equals this ecstasy that I cant explain..

And I dont want to.

I just wanna sit back and feel the love that you exude..

Even when your miles away.

Love is not one

Love is two

The two of us educating each other on math and science and science and math

Because surely we are scholars on the subject.

Touch me once again

Lord, touch me once again 

so that when you do we can become intimate again

Because if you do I will be exposed to your glory moreover

And Im hoping that it will overflow so that when it does, it will spill into others lives

so that they may be blessed by your righteousness

And it has all been so simple this whole time

but yet I did not know for what to appeal

Yet, it is by your glory that I am able to be completely healed and delivered and frrreeee

And I think your touching me right now, everyday

Its just that at times I am too stubborn to unharden this hardened heart of mine

Is it as simple as to just ask for your touch?

Yes I want to receive but I want to be in relationship with you more than what comes along 

Then I can know how to treat others and love others and....touch others

Like you

When you

touch me