Guilt

There is this feeling that wont go away
And its deep inside of me
Reflection of the past yields
Regrets in the present

There is this feeling that wont go away
And its deep inside of me

I never meant to hurt you,
Even when I did
It was my selfish nature
And my pompous pride
CreatinG that sorrow on your face
And its far too late to erase
But thank you.
Thank You for loving me anyway

There is this feeling that wont go away
And its deep inside of me.

My insecurities took over
I wanted you to love me
But so it seeMs that no amount of tussling can make someone love
And once you did it was too late
A compromise turned into a scar, unhealed
No bandage for this wound

There is this feeling that wont go away
And its deep inside of me.

When will I know that you care?
Why cant I show you I do?
I am of you
A life alMost surrendered
Selflessness defined
Selfishness refined
Lets let love take its course
It'll all mean nothing
If I dont say something
Before it all goes away

There is this deep feeling
Inside of me
Go Away

Where Do Dreams Go?

I search for the manifestations of my deep desires

Within the shallow, emptiness of another’s heart

Wherein we both reside in dark void.

I hope with enthusiasm that somehow you have arrived

So that you may render me a ticket to the “peace station”

Which my spirit woman knows, you and I both have not found

I close my eyes and conjure up the image of who I want to be

Still just a tad bit unwilling to stir the latent motivation that lies within me

Thereby motivation escapes into the warped world between the concavity of the mirror and

the space in which I stand.

Where do dreams go?

Do they somehow vanish into particles of unbelief and strife?

Swept away into the nearby water?

A petite dam in between the cracks of the sidewalks the next young girl will walk on?

Deferred are dreams to those whose vision is obstructed by the veil

I long to hear THE loved ones permission to resume.

From where has this light arrived?

Is this the son light?

How full is man’s heart.

Beneath the veil, beyond the void.

Broken

I am Broken
What you see is a put together outside
Covering a shattered inside
And it is on the inside that you feel love
But love escapes me

I am Broken
Like a series of promises you made me
I had hoped you would keep the one where you said
"You'd love me no matter what"
But that was a matter of circumstance

I am Broken
The hardest thing for me to do is embrace you
But I want to
I'll stand by you or beside you
Whatever makes you feel whole

I am Broken
I sit still here
Helpless
With the urge to build
With no tools
And the hope to love
With no heartbeat

I am Broken
Where is this Master?
Does He live within?
I call on Him
Will He come in?
And mold me into someone to me?
Will he take the time to gather all of broken me?

I Have Learned

I Have Learned that I gained so much when I allowed you to love me. I was resistant before

I Have Learned that your presence consumes me in a way that leaves me speechless

I am in awe of you

I Have Learned that I should not fear. I have no reason to be afraid. I am armed with your favor

I Have Learned that all that ever mattered in this world was you. I missed out on living

I Have Learned that I am beautiful and powerful beyond the world's standards. I am beautiful

and powerful in the heavenly realm

I Have Learned that I give myself away so that you will transform me into a life to be given to others

I Have Learned that trouble don't last always and that victory is in my perception. I am a victor

today, tomorrow and yesterday

I Have Learned that these lessons means sitting in a classroom with no desk, no classmates

and no pen. You God are my professor. You write the next chapters

I Have Learned that where you lead me. I will follow